第25部分(第4/9 頁)

an　to　be　married　to　this　man？〃　He　felt

somebody　touch　him。　He　started。　The　words　still　re…echoed　in　his

memory；　but　were　drawing　off。

〃Me；〃　he　said　hastily。

Ann　bent　her　head　and　smiled　in　her　veil。　How　absurd　he

was。

Brangwen　was　staring　away　at　the　burning　blue　window　at　the

back　of　the　altar；　and　wondering　vaguely；　with　pain；　if　he　ever

should　get　old；　if　he　ever　should　feel　arrived　and　established。

He　was　here　at　Anna's　wedding。　Well；　what　right　had　he　to　feel

responsible；　like　a　father？　He　was　still　as　unsure　and　unfixed

as　when　he　had　married　himself。　His　wife　and　he！　With　a　pang　of

anguish　he　realized　what　uncertainties　they　both　were。　He　was　a

man　of　forty…five。　Forty…five！　In　five　more　years　fifty。　Then

sixty……then　seventy……then　it　was　finished。　My

God……and　one　still　was　so　unestablished！

How　did　one　grow　old…how　could　one　bee　confident？　He

wished　he　felt　older。　Why；　what　difference　was　there；　as　far　as

he　felt　matured　or　pleted；　between　him　now　and　him　at　his　own

wedding？　He　might　be　getting　married　over　again……he　and　his

wife。　He　felt　himself　tiny；　a　little；　upright　figure　on　a　plain

circled　round　with　the　immense；　roaring　sky：　he　and　his　wife；

two　little；　upright　figures　walking　across　this　plain；　whilst

the　heavens　shimmered　and　roared　about　them。　When　did　one　e

to　an　end？　In　which　direction　was　it